Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Natural Order

To overcome the intelligent by folly is contrary to the natural order of things; to overcome the foolish by intelligence is in accord with the natural order. To overcome the intelligent by intelligence, however, is a matter of opportunity. ~ Kongming
Yay plan post time. Kongming is my avatar on the right side of the post, an old friend from an age past, perhaps wiser in fiction than reality but still a legendary and gifted figure whom all should heed. I've finally run out of recent movies to review so we descend further into the recesses of madness this week, with the most boring movie ever made and the worst blockbuster of all time. Actually, one of the games, despite it's flaws, is much more cinematic and film-worthy than either; alas. Fortunately for the time being sports are still full of interesting storylines, this may yet change in late February and early March.
Sunday ~ Assassin's Creed
Oddly enough I played the second game before this one due to all the anti-hype for it. However it does have a better storyline and better assasssinations, even if the rest of the game pales in comparison to the sequels. I always wanted to kill 15 crusaders at every turn instead of just being able to run from them with relative ease.
Monday ~ Playoffs!?
Playoffs!? Don't talk about the Playoffs! You kiddin me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game. Ah Jim Mora, wisest of men, lord of Peyton when he threw 25 picks back in his rookie season. This post could vary quite a bit, if the Packer game is really good it might just be about them or if I only watch 2 or 3 games it may exclude the 4th. Last week only had 1 bad game though so I'm optimistic about watching them all once again.
Tuesday ~ Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
If I could buy this for the one cent it's worth I might but alas it seems morons bought the DVD as well as went to the movie. This film never ceases to amaze me, and the endless comedy from mocking it and Michael Bay have brought me much joy in the past. It's a good thing 99% of the moving viewing audience are fucking morons and there'll be a 3rd movie next summer for them to once again throw 400 million domestic at. 2010 was a great year for movies, 2009 was a horrifying piece of shit best displayed by Transformers 2. Every movie poster I could find had a damn lens flare on it.
Wednesday ~ Suikoden IV
Instead of a ship, a castle! Instead of an antagonist, the ocean! Instead of a plot, endless slow moving boat movement! Suikoden IV had several good ideas it was centered around but it never really panned out all that well; it isn't quite as bad in retrospect as I thought it was initially but it still more or less killed the series. Fortunately the last boss is an enjoyable, if easy, battle for me to replay and listen to the one good piece of voice acting in the game.
Thursday ~ Miami Heat
I actually do know a fair amount about the Heat and have watched 5 or 6 regular season pro basketball games just to see them, which has got to be a record for anyone anywhere in the history of mankind. Unfortunately they stopped winning at an absurd pace thus harming the slight interest they granted to the most boring regular season in all of sports. But, since I haven't written about them before still tons to say and a bunch of random stuff to link to.
Friday ~ The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Agh this awful 4 hour slog of pain and punishment will surely make me go insane. I predict I'll be able to watch about 2 hours before it becomes background music to something else I'm doing. Fortunately the first hour or so is actually pretty good! Alas the rest will not be so grand. At least we'll always have Fellowship to fall back on to fool us into watching this damn movie again.

This will be the first week with several negative reviews, everyone seems to like to read negative reviews as opposed to positive ones so perhaps this will show a more humorous tone than my usual occasionally fanboyish self. 4 potential less than 7/10 games and movies! Astonishing, though naturally I won't give them all less than that. Still, the average may well be 5/10, good ol Transformers will see to that.

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