Sunday, February 14, 2016


When I went and saw Deadpool there were but 3 trailers, all of them of course being Super Hero movies; and there’s another 2 aside from those coming out this year, racking up the total to a whopping six. The last time a Ryan Reynolds super hero movie came out there were but four super hero movies that year and everyone was having a crisis, bubbles, crashes, Marvel will only last for a few decades et cetera. But rest assured, Marvel may be dead as a fighting game aside from periodic necromantic wizardry; but Marvel movies are eternal. If you thought they’d go away before you died, well you were wrong; as the present Marvel slate is only setup until like 2030 or something, but the continued success of these films will extend it well into 2070 or so. Stan Lee will still be alive then, of course, making cameos.

Fret not friends, for Deadpool is fantastic; and well on its way to an absurd $130 million box office total. In fucking February no less. More words that start with F. Speaking of the F Bomb there’s plenty of those in this film, the action is frenetic, the nudity is gratuitous (off by one letter, damn), and the humor is on point more or less. I don’t think I disliked a single character in the film, a rarity for such a diverse set of characters; I’m sure if I ever go see Baffleck vs Superman I’ll despise at least a good 70% of the characters, especially the ones in the art museum sequence filmed like 5 miles away from where I am.

The structure of the film is relatively curious, but is simply used as a method to introduce fourth wall breaking and then proceed to pick apart every relevant movie in Ryan Reynolds’ storied Super Hero career amidst fondling Morena Baccarin (who’s been in a preposterous number of TV shows but never starred in an A-List film as far as I know, shoutouts to Stargate SG-1, she still looks exactly the same 10 years later), shooting/stabbing bad guys, and having a comedy routine with a blind lady and a random comedian dude (both wonderful performances). The film starts in the middle, mind blowing I know. There are really only two big action sequences in the movie, one right at the start and another right at the end, so the rest is pretty much all of the above instead, e.g. actual Valentine’s Day movie stuff. Dumb Humor? Check. Smart Humor? Check. Romance? Indeed. S and M? Oh yes.

As you may have guessed the theater was packed, granted we went to the busiest theater but still it was full to the brim with 16-19 year olds. To my right was a sagely fellow passing popcorn and pop with his friend immediately in front of me, both parties fumbling (with moves that Cam Newton would admire) with it and a phone throughout the film. I rarely have any issues with the theater going populace but these two dumbasses were just a tad distracting. The smell of booze was in the air; wonderful.  The friend I went with insisted on staying through the credits so I admonished him, pointing out loudly how absurdly stupid these two gentleman surely must be, and stood up defiantly. I then came back in the theater and watched the Stinger a few minutes later and it was pretty good. The most interesting thing is that Deadpool specifically mentions throwing away your garbage, and then this mass of irascible teenagers proceeded to do so; leading me to wonder what the percentage impact such a blasé PSA could have on the populace.

Aside: I legitimately think The Hateful Eight is a funnier film than this one, however that movie Tarantino could make while he was in a Coma with no real issue; and Deadpool is just about the hardest movie imaginable to nail; especially considering the lead they cast. They absolutely crushed it.