The Horror! The Horror!

My Intended, my ivory, my station, my river, my—’ everything belonged to him. It made me hold my breath in expectation of hearing the wilderness burst into a prodigious peal of laughter that would shake the fixed stars in their places. Everything belonged to him—but that was a trifle. The thing was to know what he belonged to, how many powers of darkness claimed him for their own. ~ Marlowe, Heart of Darkness

Apologies for the block quote but Heart of Darkness is so dense and awesome that it demands reading at least a subsection of it's massive paragraphs if I am to quote it. I actually don't think Apocalypse Now is all that great of a movie (certainly nowhere near as good as The Godfather), but Joseph Conrad's masterpiece is absolutely outstanding and I'd suggest you go and read it right now. It is only around 75 pages and relatively cheap/easy to find if you try. Anyway, this horrifying 5:30 plan post is brought to you by Kurtz! The mighty Kurtz, his ivory, his river!

In the ensuing month the Coen Brothers' trilogy will continue and I may move on to a new set of films or simply do random ones for the rest of the month. I had something in mind but it escapes me at the moment. Additionally I am quite liable to review several Koei games to your great horror.

Sunday ~ Final Fantasy XIII
I had actually intended to review this after getting the Platinum Trophy but doesn't look like that's going to happen all that quickly with all the other random games I'm playing so I'll keep to my word of 1 Final Fantasy a month. As I've said before this game is massively underrated, and while the pictured main character is a combination of Cloud and Squall the character actually works for an icy bitch for some reason. Let's call her SquaCloudbitch for short, since Lightning is reserved for my own beloved. I see 5 hours of playing this in my immediate future...

Monday ~ Michigan State Basketball
Well, we began the season number 2 with all the hope of retaining a number 1 seed in the big dance but evidently the magic left us and we'll be lucky to still have a playable seed in the tourney (3-6). Michigan State used to be an every other year team, one year would be a final four and the next would be out in the first or second round (one year famously to Final Four shockers George Mason), though the latest trend has changed that since we made back to back Final Fours. Unfortunately this year has gone awfully so far so one wonders if the perturbed Mr. Izzo will stick around and save us from our untimely demise. Either way Izzo is the second best coach in the nation to some asshole at Duke. If you like Duke you deserve to be slaughtered en masse I say. Unless you're Christian Laettner.

Tuesday ~ Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Me reviewing a comedy? Insanity! This and The Princess Bride are two of my favorite films and I guess its a tossup as to which one I think is funnier. Suffice to say for a few years after watching this for the first time that particular moment was the greatest of my life. None shall pass.

Wednesday ~ Dynasty Warriors 2
You may be seeing a lot of Koei games over the next month. This game is actually on the PS2 blue disc so I might not be able to get it to work. This particular game was ridiculously innovative for its time though they managed to do little or nothing with each of the sequels. However as a Romance of the Three Kingdoms fanboy I am a registered slave of Koei that owns about 15 of their endlessly repetitive games. Mock me if you will.

Thursday ~ Detroit Lions
I bet you were expecting a needless pre Superbowl post! No, I realized at the last second that I hadn't done a Lions post and would not likely have another logical opportunity to do one. The Lions are like the Chicago Cubs, endless futility. Listening to Matt Millen call games this year just made me facepalm all day long (though he is relatively intelligent in the booth).

Friday ~ Dark Knight Rises Musings
In the wake of Anne Always-Naked Hathaway's selection as Catwoman I have decided to discuss the potential success of Christopher Nolan's next masterpiece. Unfortunately I don't have much faith (unless the whole cast commit suicide prior to release) that this film will exceed its direct predecessor but oh well. I have no idea when I'll decide to review The Dark Knight, probably when I decide to have a 3 week series of Nolan films.

Notes
I finished Mass Effect 2 already (still haven't returned to Dragon Age) and it was actually a lot of fun throughout. It was far from perfect but relatively entertaining and I still adore the mouse and keyboard feel for shooters even though I only rarely get to experience it lately. I won't review it until I beat it on Insanity or decide preemptively that it is much more tedious than difficult. Red Dead remains captivating for around 10 hours before it gets kind of boring once more.

Random Favorite Song: Warriors of the World

Random Favorite Game Music: Red Dead Theme