Michigan State: 11-1 !?

Michigan State has always been terrible at football during my lifetime, yet they always seem to get ranked at least once a season before everything goes to shit. They're outstanding at basketball (as evidenced by consecutive final four trips, amongst other things) and I suppose if you were to weigh them equally they're slightly better than Michigan at both, though only because Michigan sucks at football lately as well. As shocking as it sounds MSU has actually won 6 National Championships, all of them in the 50s and 60s, and they were presumably a top 2 or 3 program for about 20 years.

A typical MSU football season goes like this, 4-0 against some shitty Mid-Atlantic Conference teams and then possibly win at Notre Dame. If they win at ND they might get ranked up to around 20th in the nation. Then the Big Ten season starts and they implode a few games in, losing 5 or 6 of their next 8 games and end the season around .500. One of the older coaches names was John L. Smith, which as everyone agreed stood for Loser, John Loser managed to lead us to the biggest comeback in NCAA history at one point, but I'm sure we still finished that season at 6-6 and lost our bowl game. Lately they've been 1-2 games better than that, which I guess we have Saint D'antonio to thank for.

                                Huzzah for random googling
The difference this season? D'antonio had a heart attack. This wonderful chain of events somehow motivated the team to beat Wisconsin (now #4 in the nation) and several other competent teams on their way to a share of the Big 10 title. Of course, Iowa beat the shit out of us or we'd be #3 instead. Unfortunately D'antonio failed to have another heart attack so the team got lazy for one game, alas. The real difference this year? They didn't play Ohio State!

I went to see the team in person 2 years ago multiple times, they were at the beginning of their streak (6-1! 20th in the nation!) and had only lost to a competent California team, so there was a lot of hype going into the last game I saw against Ohio State. Here's what happened. Yep, 45-7. That about somes up my expectations for Michigan State Football. Naturally the semester after I graduate they decide to miraculously get better and not schedule OSU, and do the best they've done since 1966, fuckers.

Oh well, now we get to take on Nick Saban, the only good coach ever to work for Michigan State that's still exists, of course he betrayed us and went to LSU, winning a national championship there, then betrayed LSU and went to the Miami Dolphins and failed miserably (though Miami kind of sucks so it wasn't that bad really), then bailed and went to Alabama and won another national championship!

That treacherous bastard! Sure Alabama is better than us in every conceivable way, but maybe we can motivate the fanbase through Nick Saban is the devil jokes! I'd say we have about a 10% chance of winning the game, weirder things have happened. D'antonio is an excellent 0-3 in bowl games with MSU for one, a good sign for a turn around. Our season ended a week or two before Alabama, so our team will be well fattened rested and not lazy or ineffectual at all. Overall I'm optimistic, I bet anyone reading that they won't lose as badly as they did to Ohio State in 2008! No 45-7 defeat! Unfortunately they do play OSU next year.

 

                    Nick Saban makes the baby Jesus cry