So I just watched this again since my friend rented it for
no readily apparent reason. Like many others I saw this and was immediately
disappointed after the first go-around; however 8 years later with a less
scornful eye I somehow managed to find enjoyment out of the film. Many will
remember the infamous “I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch” scene as the one highlight of
the movie, and it still is; however the rest of the movie sort of follows that
accord. This movie just doesn’t give a single fuck, much like a Roland Emmerich
disaster movie.
Major characters get killed off randomly, hundreds of
civilians get murdered; and in general it’s just a ludicrous action movie. The
movie’s not horrifically awful like Batman and Robin or anything though, it really
has some interesting scenes and is toying with themes far above it that could
have worked in a better film. The CGI holds up pretty well so provided you’re
up for a silly big budget action film I would recommend it.
Perhaps the film’s most egregious error is not allowing
Wolverine to say “Bub,” because as Steve Blum fans know Bub is the height of
all Wolverine discourse. However in the absence of Bub we get the disposal of
asshole Cyclops, terribly acted Mystique, and Jean Luc Picard who’s obviously
too good for this movie (Gandalf was not so fortunate). There’s a certain charm about the absurdity of the
film reminiscent of Independence Day, while it doesn’t hold up quite so well as
that masterpiece it doesn’t deserve the amount of disdain that it still has to
this day.
Far from a formulaic Super Hero movie, this film strives to
have as many explosions and B romance plots as possible. Ellen Page, the
matriarch of female video game characters, is even in this film at the ripe old
age of 19. Vinnie Jones plays Juggernaut flawlessly, and pretty much everyone
else sucks to one degree or another; but for some reason it kind of works
anyway. It’s not quite as baffling how this got through production, this has
all the charm of a 90’s action movie minus Bill Paxton. Keeping in mind how
horrible most Super Hero movies were in that decade this one towers over them
as the true ascendant heir to the 90’s.